Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
