we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
