I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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