weddingsv make me drug and hornr
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize