I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
