What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
