if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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