I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
