would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
