She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
