Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
