is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
