So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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