so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
