Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So here I am, sexting at work.
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