She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
