i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
