summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
