remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
