he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
