Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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