But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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