I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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