Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
