She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
