There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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