Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
