Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
