There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
