u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
