This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
