So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
