I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
