If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
