Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
