Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
