ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
