Your tits are I can't wait for
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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