There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
