Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
