I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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