adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize