so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize