Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I love having hate sex.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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