He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
50% drunk capacity currently
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
