Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
