Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize