He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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