She is in my trunk
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
