she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
