Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
