Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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