If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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