apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
