she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
