he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
