God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He kissed a someone with a penis
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i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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