I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
